Yes. But the Woke ain’t gonna like it—especially the White ones.
The Woke believe that Black folks are dumb, humorless, and helpless. They believe Blacks can’t learn math. They believe Blacks can’t get identification in order to vote. They believe Blacks are so delicate that they can’t endure the name of a pancake syrup and require a “trigger warning” on movies such as Gone with the Wind. They believe all Black folks think alike, which is far worse than believing they all look alike (which they don’t).
Worst of all, the Woke demand that all Blacks think alike, as any Black person who dares go against Woke ideology finds out lickety-split. Woe betide the Black person who opposes affirmative action or defunding his local police department or placing male prisoners in women’s prisons. The Woke infantilization of Black people is a particularly ugly form of racism and weaponizes this patronization with the intent to promote racial animus forever. Never forget: The Woke and our betters want us divided, silenced, and disarmed—forever.
My opinion of Black people is quite different from the Woke’s. The Black folks I’ve met have a great sense of humor and want the same things everyone else wants, e.g., immigration laws enforced, criminals put in jail, good schools for their children (including math classes), and basic fairness. They’re not wussies about trivial shit (e.g., the name of a pancake syrup). They tend to be a spiritual people and socially conservative, despite the fact they typically vote Democrat in elections. They aren’t fans of the Woke’s bullshit—no sane person is.
Black lives do not matter to the Woke. In fact, the Woke actively harm Black people. The Woke deprive Black Africans of cheap, reliable energy. The Woke thwart law enforcement, which leads to disproportionate harm in Black communities. The Woke cheered on the BLM riots, arson, and looting that occurred in Black communities. The Woke are fine and dandy with Margaret Sanger’s wanting to “exterminate the Negro population.” Ms. Sanger’s quotes on the topic of eliminating the Black population should chill to the marrow even an ardent supporter of abortion rights. (Apologists for Ms. Sanger contend that this quote is taken out of context. In the context of her other writings, the more horrific interpretation seems valid to me. You be the judge.)
Black people are in a unique position to help good people of all races battle the Woke and our betters who enable these dunderheads. Many Black people are already doing this—and being called vile names because of it. These suggestions may at first seem counterintuitive, but counter-intuitiveness is a powerful weapon for use against those who would oppress us.
Here’s how Black people can save the world:
1. We aren’t afraid of a Confederate flag or statues. Black Americans who are the descendants of slaves shall always have a direct historical link to the Confederacy, just as shall the descendants of White slaveowners and Confederate soldiers. This link is not the link of coffle chains, but the shared path that is our collective history as Americans. It’s important we don’t forget or fear our past, both the good and the bad. The Woke get hysterical over the Confederate flag or statues of people who fail their silly ideology tests, even though in modern times the flag is more a symbol of Southern pride or a recognition of the military prowess of the Rebel soldiers, and statues serve as inert history lessons—and history is always an amalgam of good and bad.
Black folks embracing the Confederate flag and decrying the removal of statues can send a compelling message to those who would lord over us: Just because you Woke are pussies, doesn’t mean we Black folks are, too.
“Tut, tut, Woke wussies. We’re not afraid of the Confederate flag. We aren’t afraid of statues of men who fought for the South or otherwise bruise the overly delicate psyche of you Woke. We’re not afraid of things that remind us of our history, which is your history as well. Unlike you, we don’t cower at the site of a flag or a statue. Instead, we appropriate the Confederate flag as a recognition of our link to the Antebellum South, the Jim Crow South, today’s far better modern South. Though such men might not be honored with statues today, we want these memorials to flawed men—sometimes deeply flawed—to remain, as reminders of a past we survived, a past we hope to remember and not repeat. The people who want to foment divisiveness are the ones who want these statues removed.
“We join our brethren of all races in opposing the Woke and the cowards who enable them. In fact, this flag and these statues are now totems in the fight against those who would be our modern overseers. We rebel against those who would divide us. We rebel against those who would impose their weakness and cowardice on us. We rebel against those who use us as a weapon against their enemies. We rebel against those who treat us as humorless, ignorant children. The Stars and Bars is our new symbol in the battle against your vile ideology. A statue of Robert E. Lee left standing is a reminder that we can draw both inspiration and a cautionary tale from flawed men, for all men are indeed flawed—and we’ll whistle Dixie while doing it.”
(I’ll buy a beer for the first Black guy or gal I see wearing a hat or shirt with the Confederate flag on it!)
2. Mathematics is not racist. The Woke claim that mathematics is racist and the teaching of it is a relic of “White colonialism.” Yes, the Woke are that demented and retarded. Everyone of any race must learn math to the best of his or her ability, regardless of the ultimate career path chosen. A solid math education allows more career choices and gives a person the tools necessary for both personal finances and to be an engaged citizen when considering social and political issues. Black folks demanding the Woke keep their damn hands off of math would help.
“My goodness, you Woke have a very low opinion of us Black folks. Math is racist? Math is White colonialism? You insult Black people by assuming math is somehow racist and that we are unable to learn it—in fact, yours is a very racist position to hold. Black folks want our children to have the opportunity to learn math and other core subjects, just like other students. We don’t want academics dumbed down for our kids or our children indoctrinated in divisive Woke ideology—you can also stuff your other toxic nonsense such as CRT and DEI and reparations and resegregation. We recognize the importance of education, and this includes mathematics. Let each student learn to the best of his or her ability and according to his or her interests, race be damned. Do not hold us back because of your miserably low opinion of us. In fact, mind your own damn business.”
3. Voter ID laws aren’t racist. Election integrity is imperative if a democracy is to survive. Voter ID laws are a reasonable tool for this. Blacks can send a powerful message in support of election integrity.
“Black folks want the highest integrity for elections. You know, as would any responsible sane adult. This protects ours and everyone else’s right to vote by making sure votes are fairly counted and only those who should vote are allowed to vote. Allowing non-citizens to vote, as some Woke jurisdictions already do, is an abomination and dilutes my sacred right to vote as a U.S. citizen. It allows people who aren’t supposed to live here to rule over us via the ballot box.
“Do not undermine the voting rights of Black people with your Woke Jim Crow. We want voting restricted to U.S. Citizens and voter ID is a reasonable safeguard. We’re not stupid and helpless. Our Black brothers and sisters are perfectly capable of obtaining ID. We want voters who haven’t voted in several years purged from the roles. If the person is still alive and wishes to resume voting, he or she can again re-register to vote. Do not undermine our vote by thwarting election integrity. Also, don’t patronize us by thinking we only vote for people who look like us. We are capable of evaluating a candidate based on his or her character rather than skin color.”
4. Bring Aunt Jemima back. The removal of Aunt Jemima as a logo for a pancake syrup was a silly overreaction to the asshattery arising from the George Floyd riots. This and other equally inane changes improved the world not one angstrom. Instead, it made the world a far pettier and meaner place. Demanding a return of these logos would communicate to the Woke that Black folks aren’t wimps.
“What the hell? Aunt Jemima? Really? Folks of all races loved Aunt Jemima syrup—that is those of us who aren’t Woke wussies. You Woke folks done sold her down the river. Bring her back! Now! And Uncle Ben, while you’re at it! Oh, and stop the stupid trigger warnings.”
If Black people embrace these notions, they can expect the Woke to call them names: White supremacist, Nazi, coon, house nigger, etc. This is not surprising, since the Woke are not nice people. Woke crackers don’t cotton Black uppityness. These self-proclaimed purveyors of “social justice” are bigoted fascists who intend to forcibly create a miserable world of doctrinaire sameness—their demented sameness.
Say this to those who call you these names: “Yawn. Is that the best you got?” Follow up by waving the Confederate flag in their face.
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