[This is from an unpublished work, Bonfire of the Inanities, which was written in response to the BLM craziness that erupted after the death of George Floyd.]
I’m wearied by the illogic, hypocrisy, and venom the Woke never seem to run out of. There is no limit to their dunderheadedness…nor apparently my willingness to mock it (despite my fatigue).
A particularly comical example of Woke illogic occurs quadrennially. Specifically, it’s amusing how the Democrats debase their own party members by openly claiming it’s racist that largely white Iowa is the first state to cast its votes in the presidential caucuses/primaries.
Again, do the math.
Uh, so according to Democrats, white Iowa Democrats are racists? Your own party members are racists? How the fuck then did Barack Obama win the Iowa Democratic Party caucus—twice?
I’m confident if the next twenty presidents are black, the Woke would still decry America as being irredeemably racist. Of course, if a black president happens to be non-Woke, he or she is going to be called racist, if not worse. The Woke so indiscriminately use the words racist and racism, these words are attenuated into nothingness. Allow me to offer a few definitions of racism for our purposes:
- Harming a person because of his race, either deliberately or inadvertently.
- Assuming a race of people is generally dumber or less capable than another race.
- Condescension toward another person because of his race.
- Infantilizing another person because of his race.
- Treating a person differently than you do others, based solely on his race.
- Not offering everyone the same basic fairness (e.g., inherently unfair racial quotas).
- Assuming a person’s race determines his entire belief system (abortion, gun control, immigration, etc.)
The Woke are guilty of all seven of these deadly sins. They’ll also have a conniption fit over my use of “his” in this list, so I must make it clear (again) that its usage in this context means collectively male, female, and whatever make-believe genders are your druthers.
If you make the effort to treat all people with fairness, regardless of what you may think of their race, you’re doing your part to make the world a better place. It’s okay if you like, dislike, or are indifferent to people of a certain race. The thing that matters is how you treat them.
“What! Are you saying it’s okay to not like someone because of their race?”
Yes. People are free to like or dislike whoever they want for whatever reason. The reasons may be petty or profound or somewhere in between. How you treat someone despite your (or the other person’s) virtues and vices is what matters.
Don’t believe for a nanosecond the Woke are “allies” of black folks. Nowadays, the Ku Klux Klan does far less damage to black folks than do the Woke. I’ve heard black conservatives half-jokingly wonder if the Woke aren’t the Klan’s secret weapon against blacks. Sure as heck seems that way.
Notice to political candidates of any party and any race: Don’t be a pussy. Make your case to whoever your audience is. Don’t preach to the choir when campaigning. Preach to the peanut gallery and change their minds.
Should an intelligence test ever be incumbent on political candidates, the shortage of qualified contenders is sure to surprise nobody.
Spermatocytes are the determiner of biological sex and we gots to keep their numbers down…down…down…so as to avoid the outrage of, well, biological sex. Also helps keep the cee-oh-two down. At our own insistence (and lack of resistance), we’re becoming a Children of Men society. These same people then complain there aren’t enough babies being born for replacement of the working-age population.
Nobody ever said the Woke can’t maintain two contradictory notions inside their pea brains: more people/less people…enhanced penalties for so-called hate crimes/undermine the entire justice system…reduce CO2/fly or megayacht to global warming conferences…Martin Luther King, Jr. is a civil rights hero/screw his hope for a colorblind society…squawk about the wonders of diversity/embrace a staggeringly doctrinaire ideology…black lives matter/loot and burn down their neighborhoods…love who you love/straight men must date a “woman” with a dick…and on and on…
There’s apparently no amount of dunderheadedness low-enough to satisfy the Woke. Dante was an amateur at nine levels of descent. There are subbasements he never dreamed existed. Don’t bother pointing out to them the inconsistencies in their dogma (actually you should). The Woke have no shame button, no ability whatsoever to recognize hypocrisy or illogic or self-inflicted irony. They operate on a dunderhead autopilot, not unlike how a mindless single-celled organism reacts to stimuli, yet is oblivious to a reason why. This is why they incessantly spew platitudes and childish demands without an ounce of rational thought or adult consideration.
I predict the day will come when a dumbass suggests that chromosomes themselves are transphobic; those X and Y cocksuckers perpetuate the vile social construct of biological sex. Dig deeper and it’ll be found that deoxyribonucleic acid is probably nothing more than the fount of cis-gender-white-male-capitalistic-patriarchal-privilege-supremacist-colonialism oppression.
DNA is heteronormative, since our bodies are nothing more than a bearer of these strands of heredity from one generation to the next, fully dependent on the two distinct biological sexes (one each) and at least one successful heterosexual interaction (test tube notwithstanding, though one could argue the labware is a proxy for heterosexual sex). Christ, if that isn’t the most offensive transphobic and homophobic thing ever, I don’t know what the hell is. If only we could figure a way to also make it Islamophobic.
Perhaps the Woke should protest outside Evolution’s house. Seems to me he has a lot to answer for.
Long-dead Watson and Crick are somehow to be blamed and shamed, stripped of their Nobel Prize, and thoroughly depersoned. Any buildings named after them shall be shorn of the honor. The George Floyd Genetic Research Laboratory, anyone?
“But what if they ban genetic research altogether? Science is Western colonization or misogyny…or something the Woke are against.”
I guess they then won’t have to worry about a name for the building—or any science building.
On a related note, there are Woke morons who say we must “decolonize science.” This means to disregard the miraculous advances to which the world owes Western Civilization and dumb down science to the most retarded common denominator, so there are no discernable test score differences among the races and not a feeling is unduly tweaked among the most overly sensitive of the Woke dumbasses who come up with these lame-brained ideas. This decolonization mantra arises out of the Woke’s racism. They believe blacks are too dumb to learn science and mathematics. They wantonly ignore the obvious fact that billions of non-white people in the world aspire to a Western standard of living, including our education and science—yet, the Woke actively thwart these aspirations. The Woke are vile people.
A university in Wisconsin removed a “racist” rock from campus. Not just any rock, but a dark-colored rock. How can a rock possibly be racist, you ask? According to the story (Christ, more stupid stuff that becomes news), a hundred years ago the rock was referred to on one documented occasion as Niggerhead Rock. Also, dark-colored rocks are supposedly referred to as niggerhead rocks as a matter of course.
Fast forward a century, and a Woke weakling gins up a nothingburger into an embarrassingly lame tempest. Fifty thousand dollars is spent moving the rock and those involved actually congratulate themselves on this saintly endeavor. Let the healing begin. Hallelujah! I’d say this is cheap sanctimony, except it did cost fifty thousand dollars. It is, though, foolish sanctimony of the lowest order. The university system in this country is devoid of adult supervision.
I’d love to talk with some of the sensible black students on that campus and confirm my suspicion they found this needless kerfuffle an embarrassment to their race. I certainly found it an embarrassment to the human race. “Lawd, help obsidian, ‘cause rock doan get no darker dan dat.”
What should have happened when the whiney loser came to campus administration with the absurd demand that a so-called racist rock be removed? For the non-Woke and other adults with a backbone it’s quite simple: Tell the whiner to fuck off and get back to class. We’re not moving the rock.
“What if he has to pass the rock each day and is traumatized by its presence?”
Refer the wuss to campus mental health services. (I’d like to slap the dolt across the face and tell him to “snap out of it,” but I’ll be nice and let the professionals handle it. See, I’m not all bad.)
As I said, it’s impossible to make a parody about the Woke. Their real-life words and deeds are their own parody. (Ryan Long and Awaken with JP on YouTube somehow pull it off. Check them out.)
Next example…
“Pepe Le Pew encourages rape culture.”
Oh, Jesus, Mary, Joseph, and the Three Wise Men, please help us; these Woke people have become their own caricature of dumbassishness. (Roget is inadequate; hence, I’m forced to coin words to deal with this. If you’ve a speech impediment, I caution against trying to say this word. You might sprain your tongue.)
So you don’t have to, I pored over law journals and it was staggering to find how frequently the defendants in a rape trial use the Pepe Le Pew defense. Successfully, too. Who knew a cartoon could be so sinister that it absolves a criminal of personal responsibility? Perhaps, debtors should try the Wimpy Defense in bankruptcy court. (The Wimpy I’m talking about is Popeye’s forever mooching friend.)
I argue the mind-numbing blandness of a Peppa Pig cartoon is far more damaging to brain cells than Pepe is to the control of criminal impulses. Screw waterboarding; we can extract information from interrogatees by forcibly showing them non-stop inoffensive cartoons—or the recording of the 2019 Democratic Socialists of America convention.
Now, don’t get me wrong. Peppa Pig was one of my younger niece’s favorite cartoons and I dutifully watched them with her (over and over and over). I gladly did this out of my love of spending time with her. I would gladly do so again. I bought her brother a Peppa Pig DVD set, hoping to do the same with him. But the fact is Looney Toons cartoons—at least the older pre-PC ones—are far more sophisticated (and edgy) and have varied levels to their storylines which can be enjoyed by non-Woke people of all ages, and this is the brilliance of these marvelous creations, the brilliance of artistic freedom.
“But those Jim Crow cartoon crows are racist!”
Don’t waste your time trying to make art enjoyable for the Woke. They are the most mirthless bunch of motherfuckers on God’s green Earth.
Art is beyond the understanding of Woke dimwits. Art is meant to provoke emotions. Art is meant to stimulate thought. In its various forms, art causes tears, shock, discomfort, elation, sadness, laughter, awe, and reflection (both inward and outward). Art is not meant to be unfailingly inoffensive any more than is history. Art sterilized of offense is not art. History sterilized of offense is not history.
What would art and history be in that case?
You don’t want to know, but if things keep going the way they are, you’re going to find out—and I have no doubt you ain’t gonna like it. A prelude is the pathetic Woke student who opined that “kids should not learn about World War II because it’s triggering.”
Most importantly: Art is supposed to be interesting.
Shouldn’t people be, too?
The Woke demand everyone, living or dead, conform absolutely to their rigid ideology. They demand that anyone resisting this be unduly punished.
They should heed these wise words from Friedrich Nietzsche: “In heaven, all the interesting people are missing.”
They’re disappearing from down here, also.
We shield children from grown-up stuff. The Woke insist adults be shielded from it, also.
Oh, Wokesters, isn’t Peppa Pig offensive to Muslims?
Here, let me answer for you: If it is, too fucking bad. They don’t have to watch it.
Decent people allow other people to make their own choices whether they watch or don’t watch a cartoon. The Woke are not going to give decent people the same courtesy. No fucking way.
I’ll go even further and say, it would never occur to a decent person to give a shit about the cartoons on television and whether someone else chooses to watch them. Why are the simplest concepts so beyond the comprehension of the Woke?
Nobody is forcing you to watch a cartoon that somehow offends you—as if such a thing were possible, but let’s assume it is. I will defend your right to not watch such a cartoon. If someone were to break into your house and put a gun to your head to make you watch said cartoon, I’m all in at holding them fully accountable for the crime of breaking and entering, kidnapping, and assault. But you absolutely do not have the right to prevent my watching the offensive cartoon. Both of us have the same right: To watch the cartoon or not watch the cartoon. It’s literally that simple.
Don’t be a douche and arrogantly deem you have the right to determine for both of us the choice we make in this regard. Don’t foolishly believe banning the cartoon you find offensive is somehow world-improving. It isn’t. Quite the opposite is true: These banishments are the work of fascist children who need to grow the fuck up—and the wussy people who cave into these childish demands need to man the fuck up. I’ll even go as far as to say “woman the fuck up,” since a lot of women have more balls than a typical soy boy.
The Woke are anti-choice fascists, unless it involves abortion, non-heterosexual sexuality (except for the aforementioned rapey stuff), or faux gender and its myriad of contrived pronouns (and the gender isn’t the snarky “super-straight” genre).
On a related matter, I’m for serious jail time for a person who would break into your house to force you at gunpoint to watch a triggering cartoon. Which is funny because those of the Woke’s ilk are going to weep about restorative justice and make God only knows how many lame-ass excuses on behalf of the poor wittle perpetrator (unless he’s a white male). Indulging and excusifying real criminal behavior is a favorite pastime of the Woke—while at the same time snowing us under with a litany of new pro-Woke laws they want implemented (and enforced).
It was hilarious how the Woke blamed white supremacy for well-publicized crimes against Asians that became their latest issue du jour in late 2020 and 2021, rather than their own relentless undermining of the criminal justice system. Based on the videos and mugshots (which the media let slip for our viewing), I’d say the Ku Klux Klan has either dramatically lowered its recruiting standards or decided that diversity is a good thing, after all.
The Woke’s parroted talking point is that Donald Trump’s use of the terms “Kung Flu” and “Chinese Flu” led to assaults against Asians. This is preposterous. These terms are examples of healthy gallows humor. Non-Woke Americans are smart enough not to blame our own Asians or the average person in China for the COVID virus. What is evident is that many of the attackers were people who should not have been out on the streets, but were out-and-about because of the Woke’s perversion of our mental health and justice systems.
I blame the general lawlessness resulting in people of myriad races being harmed on what the Woke have wrought via sanctuary cities, restorative justice, movements to defund (and geld) the police, and other weak-willed, virtue-signaling approaches toward dealing with criminal behavior. Not dealing with criminal behavior is more accurate. To deflect their own culpability, the Woke screech about hate, racism, white supremacy, patriarchy, heteronormative reality, misogyny, and, of course, long-ago slavery. These abstractions are then used as distractions, i.e., to not hold the actual criminal accountable for his sins, but to blame everyone else. The white grandmother in Kansas minding her own business is guiltier than the black guy in Los Angeles who randomly punches an elderly Asian woman in the face.
Decent adults of all races want these attackers punished. The Woke want to thwart the justice system’s ability to punish criminals (except for white cops or mean tweeters). As adults—if we are to have an adult discussion about the matter—we must also ask if there is actually an increase in crimes against Asians or if this is another example of the Internet Effect, which selectively amplifies things in the interest of the Woke’s nefarious agenda. The foundational component of the Woke’s agenda is deliberately fomenting racial animus. A particularly hypocritical example of this, in light of the attacks against Asians and the resultant Woke crocodile-tears, is their underhanded efforts to limit Asian admittance to elite high schools and colleges.
The Woke are fanatically obsessed with race; even more so than a Klansman. The Woke look at everything through the lens of racial animus and aggrievement—and love doing it on behalf of other races, asked for or not. To make matters worse, their lens is attached to a fucking electron microscope. One that can time travel.
Reasonable people look at the issues of race and marvel at the tremendous progress made in the United States at living up to the ideals upon which this country was founded. These same people recognize that, as is true with all our endeavors, we must always defend our gains and strive for further progress. The Woke, on the other hand, behave as if things have never been worse—even if they must actively make it so.
Consider white criminals vs. black criminals. When a white criminal is killed by the police, I sleep like a baby, which belies the notion that white people don’t care when black folks are killed by the police, for the simple reason that many of us don’t care either way regarding the person’s ethnicity. The same is true for a lot of non-white folks, too. We assume (usually correctly) that the person’s own actions led to him getting shot.
The Wokesters immediately embrace the fate of the black person shot by the police and declare him or her a martyred saint, sometimes literally as evident by the murals that spring up afterwards, replete with the inevitable angel wings.
I say it’s best to await all the facts and demand an impartial investigation, but hoping the Woke behave as responsible adults is as foolish a hope as there ever was. It’s much more helpful to the black folks if you riot and loot and commit arson in their communities, while at the same time undermining the justice system so as to allow the predators within their midst free reign and subsequent restocking (if they are indeed caught).
Christ, what did black people ever do to deserve “allies” like these?
Unlike many of the white Wokesters, I’ve actually been to Crime Stoppers meetings in the black community. Guess what. They want the same things as white folks and Asian folks and Hispanic folks and Eskimo folks: Criminals acting the fool in their neighborhood arrested and punished—excuses be damned.
“It’s Inuit!”
You use your words. I’ll use mine. Eskimo. Eskimato.
Decent people of all races want criminals of all races dealt with in the here and now. We’re okay with due process being part of the overall process. But we certainly aren’t going to justify bad behavior by fabricating an excuse for the criminal’s actions linked to the first slave ship that sailed into town in 1619.
It’s a grievous insult to today’s black people for the Woke to insist the behavior of our black brothers and sisters is fully at the mercy of the past, that they have zero control over their own destinies, and the criminals among them just can’t help themselves and should be left in situ to cause additional harm. White folks ain’t gonna make lame-ass excuses for white criminals, so don’t be surprised when they—and decent black folks—don’t make excuses for black ones, either.
Millions of black folks are decent people and not criminals—and fully capable of getting valid ID. We should not allow the knuckleheads in their midst (or in anyone else’s) to taint an entire race as helpless, dumb, or prone to criminal behavior. The Woke love to stereotype the shit out of everyone (e.g., blacks are too dumb to get voter ID or learn math). Don’t let them.
“But white people keep bringing up the statistic that blacks commit a disproportionate number of murders!”
If the statistic is accurate, then the one which shows these murders are disproportionately committed against black victims is likely true as well. An accurate statistic is not racist. What is racist is the Woke’s enabling of such crime to continue. The Woke are racist because they willfully allow and enable disproportionate harm to a specific race. (One could argue the Woke allow harm to befall all races, especially when you consider their Global Warming madness.)
A good rule to embrace is that once you turn eighteen years old, you’re an adult and responsible for your own actions. I don’t care if your momma was an aggressive potty trainer or your dad was drunk and distant or your great-great-great grandpappy was a slave or slaveowner. Once you’re an adult, it’s on you from that point onward.
We must as a society accept this demarcation line beyond which a person assumes full-on adult responsibility for his own actions. Otherwise, we’re left with the onus of creating as many different penal codes as there are people. It is not practical to develop and implement over three hundred million penal codes in the United States. (One could argue the Woke only desire two penal codes. One for themselves, which they need not follow, and the other intended for the rest of us and to which adherence is brutally enforced.)
It is reasonable to demand the police be well-trained and have good use of force policies, and that police shootings are independently and fairly investigated. Hell, even for the white criminals who are shot. Often, but certainly not always, the criminal who is shot made poor life decisions which led to his untoward dénouement. Perhaps, the cop did, too. These shootings are not an indictment of our entire society, past, present, and future. Don’t give criminals or bad cops or exploitative politicians and activists that kind of power. The power to divide us. The Woke want to divide us and keep us that way. Forever.
As a people, we are either one or we are none. Yugoslavia after its dissolution is the fate the Woke have in store for us.
Remember when high school and college students embraced edginess? When they, along with artists, journalists, and writers, were once the ultimate defenders of freedom of speech.
Now they’ve become the censorious fascists—weak, weird, weepy ones. In search of the most pathetic-assed utopia ever imagined. A staggeringly bland utopia of absolute conformity in thought, word, deed…and dread.
These meddlesome busybodies are particularly obsessed with our thoughts and private doings. Bad behavior manifesting itself in public is so yesterday. The modern Hitler Youth within your own family or circle of “friends” is a true hero, rewarded for his or her denouncement of your crimes, both small and smaller.
You might ask, “What is their reward for this evil behavior?” That would be sweet, smug sanctimony and the ecstasy of shaming and telling others what to do, think, and speak. Gotcha is the orgasm of the Woke—hence, our fertility problems.
Where have I seen that before? Long ago foggy memories scream at you to remember. Think of the officious hall monitor from your school days. Only this time arm him with the Internet, unlimited data storage, ubiquitous cameras, and social media sites, and then factor in lazy “journalists” looking for an easy story and our present society’s shallow stupidity, and you have the perfect recipe for the perfect storm of overreaction and hysteria over nothings, trivialities, and things that aren’t the rest of our fucking business.
“But he used the n-word!”
Hoo-boy. C’mon up to the Big People table and let’s not dance around shit. I assume by n-word you mean nigger.
“GASP!” [Kerplunk]
Quick, someone get the smelling salts. This boy done got hi’self a serious case of the vapors.
Gather around people; black, white, brown, yellow, and red. Unless it was used at work or in school, I don’t give a flying fuck about Rated-R or Rated NC-17 language—and neither should you. Because, dear cupcakes, if we as a society get over flipping out over that word, we gain our freedom back from the pipsqueak tyranny of the Woke which has nagged the hell out of us for far too long and made us a nation of pussies. I know this advice is harsh and callous, but it is necessary because it’s the only way forward.
Do not fall for the cruel deception of the Woke regarding this word and how they milk it for every drop of disingenuous outrage they possibly can. Do not allow them to beguile you with empty promises of a utopia to be obtained via endless racial animus. These are the people who actively harm black people everywhere. These are the people whose condescension toward the black race is shameless. These are the people who only care about a murdered black person when it serves their agenda or is the trendy thing to do in front of their friends. These are the people whose carbon offsets are intended to keep non-white folks in economic backwardness (if not far worse).
The Woke want racial divisiveness at full throttle and they have no intention of ever taking the foot off the gas pedal. They stridently work to con us into believing that in the United States of America (circa 2021), Jim Crow exists, slavery ended only last week, blacks have no control over their own lives and are at the mercy of others at every step and moment of their lives, and the ideals on which America was founded are invalid because the Founding Fathers fail the Woke’s centuries-later purity test.
The Woke consider the term “Founding Fathers” patriarchal and misogynistic and want it scrubbed from the history books. Perhaps to be replaced with Founding Pansexuals? This is the sort of stupid shit that they obsess over.
Since the Woke are race-obsessed, maybe a simple solution is dividing up the land among the races, each race assigned its own newly created nation.
There’s an obvious problem with that idea. I speak on behalf of my non-Woke white brethren when I say I don’t want to be put in the same country with any of the Woke, especially the white ones. Other races are likely to say the same thing about the Woke of their own and other races. Bottom line: Decent people don’t want to be with the Woke.
A better solution is to divide our nation in half. One for decent people of all races and the other for the Woke and their enablers. Those in the non-Woke nation can sit at the border with our popcorn and beer and watch the Woke paradise devolve into utter mayhem—imagine an entire nation run as a Democratic Socialists of American convention. A permanent Purge with a surfeit of man buns and shrillness. It won’t be pretty to watch, but the entertainment value is undeniable. The sweetest schadenfreude ever.
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